Dave is in the peculiar predicament of being a story for asking questions as a journalist because he won’t seem to accept that journalists aren’t allowed to do that with New England coach Bill Belichick, who has resorted to pleading with with Jesus Christ and turning over college transcripts revealing he didn’t, in fact, go to medical school in a desperate attempt to quell the team’s growing quarterback controversy around suspended old cheater Tom Brady, who also can’t tackle. One can imagine Belichick sitting in a dimly lit room, methodically cutting the sleeves out of Patriots sweatshirt after Patriots sweatshirt as he nonsensically mutters “Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Dave Brown, Jesus Christ, Dave Brown, Tom, Tom Brady, Jesus Christ…”
Is it irresponsible to call this a quarterback controversy? Yes! Are we left with no choice because of Belichick’s juvenile stonewalling? Yes! What the hell. We may as well live down to his expectations.
With any luck, we’ll have Dave on another Blooperman podcast in the near future, where he can continue to enrage Patriots fans and the national media, which are apparently the same thing, with his perfectly reasonable statements.