Throughout its seven-season run on CBS, The Good Wife has stood out as a smart, savvy legal drama with characters and stories that transcend the law procedurals we’ve come to expect from network television in addition to an inveterate bloodbath as the most violent fictional program in the history of the recorded image. It’s not a matter of IF beloved characters will die in the show’s final episode, but WHO.
With the series finale slated for Sunday at 9 p.m., let’s handicap the potential victims for The Good Wife’s sendoff…
HOWARD LYMAN & JACKIE FLORRICK – 10 to 1
Howard will plop down on a couch at Lockhart/Florrick for one of his signature naps and never wake up, because Jackie will strangle him to death with a length of piano wire, sealing her plan to inherit his fortune. Having forgotten to take her blood-pressure medication, Jackie collapses on top of her new husband.
KURT MCVEIGH — 3 to 2
Firearms expert and conservative Second Amendment defender Kurt McVeigh will finally persuade his bleeding-heart wife, Diane Lockhart, that all gun control is a violation of Constitutional rights. She will then disarm him and empty a fully loaded magazine from his own AR-15 into his chest.
ZACH FLORRICK — 15 to 1
We don’t care how he goes, but Alicia’s son has grown up into a real tool and we’ll just be happy to see him die already.
FRANK PRADY — 20 to 1
The theory here is that Prady, the former prosector and one-time love interest of Alicia, will return for the final episode only to die in a tragic auto accident, serving as an ironic double-down of grief for his wife, Lady Mary, whose first husband died the same way.
DAVID LEE — NO ODDS
David Lee cannot be killed.
KALINDA SHARMA – 200,000 to 1
Unfortunately, Archie Panjabi, the actress who plays the all-knowing, all-seeing sexpot investigator, Kalinda, was murdered IRL by Julianna Margulies, making her return to the series finale virtually impossible. Of course, there’s at least a chance the show’s producers could cobble together some old footage of Kalinda so it appears as if Panjabi is acting with people who aren’t even in the same room as her, but that idea is preposterous.
PETER FLORRICK — 2 to 1
Peter returns to prison and divorces his wife, Alicia, even when she offers to stay by his side for the duration of his 10-year sentence. In a 20-minute montage that closes the episode, he finds peace and clarity in prison, emerging from his incarceration a new man devoted to charitable works. He strips himself of all material possessions, becoming a Buddhist monk, leading silent, peaceful war protests and counseling women via a rape-crisis hotline. He passes gently of natural causes at the age of 87 surrounded by his loving family.
Dave Brown is a writer and business lawyer in Boston. He is a diehard Will Gardner truther. #willlives