Kasich campaign sinks to new lows by actually having a plan

In a show of bizarre desperation, Republican says he will focus on something called 'reality'


Ohio Gov. John Kasich ponders the question after being asked at a recent town hall if he’d be willing – or is even able – to sear President Obama in half with his laser vision.

John Kasich is apparently running for president. Nobody knows it, however, because he often seems to be living in this universe.

The lack of light saber, wizard staff or retractable Adamantium claws puts the Ohio governor at a severe disadvantage in the trial by combat the Republican base favors in selecting its presidential candidates, but he believes he has a chance by focusing in things that, if elected, could actually be done within the limits of this universe’s laws of physics.

Read about his sad, last-ditch effort at Politico.