N.C. town rejects solar farm over fears it will “suck up all the energy from the sun”

Seriously, some people in Woodland are afraid of that

Solar panels doing their insidious dirty work.

Solar panels doing their insidious dirty work.

According to the Roanoke-Chowan News-Herald, the booming solar farm business in the tiny North Carolina town of Woodland has screeched to a halt after residents expressed fears about the potential negative effects of solar panels.

Some of those negative effects included cancer (maybe from eating them?) and the suspicion that too many solar panels might “suck up all the energy from the sun.” We couldn’t help but wonder how could people be so incredibly ignorant about basic science, and while we’re still not sure a leading theory here at Blooperman revolves around “local native” Jane Mann, who astutely pointed out during a public meeting that plants rely on photosynthesis from sunlight to live, and with solar panels stealing all the sunlight they would die. Mann, remarkably, is a retired high school science teacher.

Little wonder that after expert testimony like this the town council voted for a moratorium on future solar farms despite efforts by representatives of Strata Solar Company to assure people that solar panels aren’t essentially voracious mini black holes that hoover all mass and energy within their reach into a terrible void. Seriously, this is really what happened.

In related news, on Saturday representatives of 195 nations reached a landmark accord in Paris that will, for the first time, commit nearly every country to lowering planet-warming greenhouse gas emissions to help stave off the most drastic effects of climate change. Good luck with that.