Possum, Outfielder Fight To Terrifying Draw In An Encounter Sure To Inspire A Revenant Sequal

Outfielderpossum

This worked so well, that possum immediately went out and tried the same thing in the interstate with a 1998 Dodge Caravan.

As we all know, possums are afraid of nothing. Not American cars. Not European cars. Not Japanese cars. And certainly not minor league outfielders, as Milwaukee Brewers farmhand Brett Phillips found out in terrifying fashion during a game earlier this season in Biloxi, Miss., when he tried to gently escort the seemingly harmless critter off the field.

Phillips is the team’s No. 2 prospect, and only that elite athleticism saved him from certain death at the hands of the possum’s near total lack of intelligence, small size, slow speed, incredibly high reproductive rate and weird belly pouch where it stores its young. Phillips may still make it to the Bigs, but he’s already won at the game of life.