Throwing out the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game is tough. It’s even tougher in front of 30,000 people, especially when you climb up on the mound and go to yourself, “man, that guy’s pretty far away,” before looking down in your hand and thinking, “so this is a baseball.” It’s OK to say no, guys.
5. John Wall
The Washington Wizards point guard isn’t left-handed. Or so he thought.
4. 50 Cent
We’re gonna give Fiddy the benefit of the doubt and assume he had to have Tommy John surgery shortly after this pitch.
3. Carly Rae Jepsen
All those times she practiced in the mirror, Carly Rae Jepsen, who apparently is somebody, forgot one key thing: Letting go of the ball.
2. Unidentified Houston Astros fan
This Houston Astros fan, who will remain anonymous because Blooperman doesn’t identify victims of ego assault, had the distance but needed a little backspin.
1. Carl Lewis
Winning all those gold medals had Carl Lewis convinced he’s immune to making a fool out of himself, and now he’s the lucky owner of the worst first pitch AND worst national anthem in history. Did that 15-mph fastball actually roll to a stop in the batter’s box? We’ll never know.